Lazy

I've been super lazy about posting. I apologize for that, I've been letting life get the better of me for the last little bit. Currently I'm trying to fight back at it. I haven't lost any weight and gained back a lot of what I did loose but I will try again in a little bit when there isn't so much going on.

I finish at Sweet Cheribum on July 31st, I start my new job on August 4Th! :o) My fibro is almost unbearable right now but I am starting to suspect that might have to do with my extreme stress than because it hurts that bad. We'll know a few weeks after my job starts if it was the stress making it worse. True there will be plenty of stress in my new job to but it will be a different kind of stress and I won't have to use hand sanitizer all the time. Long story, remind me to tell you about it one day. Anyways I have to leave for work here shortly. Hope the sunshine is shining on you to! *huggers & love*

Annoyed

Annoyed with myself for daily sabotaging myself. Starting Monday I hope to stop doing that. Yest I realise I've stated that before but now I'm getting angry with my weight not whiny and sad about it.

Job sucks but for now it will enable me to save up for a divorce so I don't have that anymore and can feel for some strange reason probably closer to Brandin. I haven't won the lottery but I keep trying. To tired to keep typing but I love you all!

Ages..

It's been ages since I've blogged, sorry about that. I am not sure why but I am having like months long self loathing. I have decided.. (since my doctor is being an idiot, long story) to take myself of of my anti-depressant. It's no longer working for me and I've told him that many times. It's causing me to gain weight ever since I started the stupid thing and if I don't eat almost nothing for food my weight jumps up and down like crazy. I've had enough of that roller coaster, thank you.

Wednesday is my 33rd birthday. I've been giving that idea a lot of thought recently. As such I am trying to make my body healthier without taking modern drugs. I am starting to take vitamin and supplements on a daily basis now, taking some drugs only when needed and keeping the ones I take daily down to a minimum. The only man made ones I am currently taking on a daily basis now are my birth control and my anti-depressant of which I am slowly lowering the dose of by myself. Once I have it clear from my system I will take the herbal equivalent of it if I need to though not st. johns wort apparently because it will muck up my BC pill.

I work a semi-physical job right now so am not going to add in any extra exercise just yet as my fibromyalgia is making mega painful just to work right now, let alone add more physical activity to my day. I will hopefully over the month of June slowly add in an extra bit of walking but we shall see. Let's hope I can get my body back to where it was last summer for weight and feeling a whole lot healthier to! :o) Love you! Keep smiling and I will try to as well.

P.S. I try to remember to spell check before posting and it doesn't like the word fibromyalgia but offers no suggestions for it. Just like real life *lmfao*

Unfortunate

Unfortunatley I haven't posted much, or rarely since starting this new blog. It isn't from lack of wanting to it's from lack of time. I only have a couple hours from the time I get up to the time I leave for work and it's usually spent doing household things. My days off are split so I end up doing errands and catching up on housework instead of updating my blog. I only have an hour and a half to two hours when I get home to eat and do a few things before I head to bed. I'm only doing a job with this many hours to try in vain to try and get ahead a bit, to have a bit of savings. Hopefully I'll get on a regular schedule soon. Better run, have stuff to do before I leave for work as usual.

When...

When I'm feeling better (have had the worlds most nastiest cold for the last week) I hope to get back to posting more regularly. I hope to also begin this whole healthy eating kick again soon, though I have no idea when.

Right now I'm sick and tired and have a busy work week ahead of me (one of the girls from work quit and I have to work slightly longer hours then expected) working 2 days, 2 days off then working 3 days. I need to pay off some older bills ..from around Christmas... and need to save a few dollars so either way am going to have to put up with job for a little while. *sigh* Life is being wierd.

I'm waiting on the universe to do a few other things as well, one of which I don't want to jinx so can't tell you yet but as soon as I can I will. I promise. The other is I need to save up for a vehicale, this walking everywhere stuff is for the birds. Very annoying waiting the extra time for transit with everything being spaced so far apart anyhow. I'm going to go get ready for the day. Will post soon. Love you all, remember sunshine is a good source of Vitamin D. :P

Well...

I can't quit eating junk food, I know not to but I just don't stop myself from doing it. I am depressed often lately. I'm not sure about my new job, I hope it goes okay but who knows *shrug* I'm grumpy a lot lately *sigh* Basically I am mad @ life right now. We might be moving.. it's all up in the air right now and I can't say anything till it's more concrete. So basically I'm going in so many directions right now and have no idea how to react till I have more information. My over/wrong eating is a direct result of that. *sigh* Anyways, may you have a wonderful day full of beauty and love.

So...

My diet is going to heck working two jobs for two weeks. For those of you who aren't on my facebook I am currently switching jobs. I've given notice at Pricesmart and the new one I'm doing training at when I'm not at Pricesmart. In other words, unfortunately I won't be posting much until I am done with Pricesmart which isn't till March 20Th. After then I should have more of a regular schedule which is totally up my alley.

The work is hard but good, and I feel I'm slow at learning it though it's probably all in my head. My new manager asked me today if I had given notice yet or not because if I hadn't and wasn't going to be able to do those full time hours soon he was going to have to hire someone else as well. So I guess it's a good thing I left the interview and handed in my notice at Pricesmart. I really wish I could have gotten full time at Pricesmart as it was/is a nice place to work, or at least the supervisors, team leaders and managers at mine seem to do a good job. :)

Just a smidge

So yesterday went okay as far as watching what I eat. I won't say I did it perfectly but able to stay mostly on track. No junk food anyhow, all food was natural. I ate a pile of grapes but at least I didn't eat tons of food like I usually do, nor did I eat a ton of junk food like I usually do. I am choosing not to exercise more than tidying the house or walking to work gets me as I am still feeling totally run down after coming down with something this last weekend. I don't want to push my body to hard because it will flare and I just don't have the energy to put into that.

I can't wait for this work week to be over, it's not that it's horrible working there or anything thing it's just the next few weeks of schedules I'm mostly a cashier, hardly touching Sales Centre at all which will be nice as I have been on it a lot lately. I do have to ask my team leader about the opening shift one because since I haven't done it, I'm not sure what it entails beyond what I already know. That shift isn't for a couple weeks so I have time. I don't mind being in charge most days it's just really exhausting on the brain sometimes.

I haven't crafted a single thing in a few days but I'm getting ideas for what I want to make for the bathroom, it's kind of bland in there. I'm going to try and stay eating healthy again today, just trying to take it one day at one time. My fibromyalgia and this cold/flu thing I got going on is a rotten combination for exercising which I really wish I could do but I need my energy for work tonight. On that note I best get moving around a bit so I can get a few things done in the house before I have to leave for work. Remember that life isn't always easy but that the good parts make it well worth it! Love ya!

My new years resolution....

So I made a new years resolution that I would lose weight and instead I have put it on. Okay so I've bounced all over the place in the last two months, currently I'm at 224 pounds. I know my depression is causing some of it and being stressed out a lot isn't helping. It's not that I don't know how to lose weight, because I truly do. It's more the fact that I don't want to take the effort to do it; I enjoy eating the junk that I do. I'm being brutally honest here when I say I gave up. I've made many promises to myself to stay on my diet but I never do. So as it goes I am planning to start again tomorrow. Why tomorrow? I don't know. I'm coming off a cold/flu so I'm going to exercise only lightly but if I can quit smoking surely I can stay on a freaking diet! Smart idea is that I am over my PMS so the junk food craving will be a little less.

I work all night shifts this week, which I'm so not looking forward to. I'm happy I have this job when so many people are loosing theirs but at the same moment I really need a less physical job. I do send out the odd resumes when I see one that would be good but so far have heard nothing back from any of them. The only thing I can do is hope this work week passes quickly and that nothing major happens while I'm there. Hopefully by the time I arrive tomorrow they will have the next schedule up. I know I work nights and afternoons next week so am wondering what the week after that will hold. So far I get 24 hours a week, and what few extra hours I can pick up here and there. I would love a full-time desk job, just need to keep emailing my resumes till someone decides to bring me in for an interview and then of course hire me *lol*

Eventually I'll have to go make a doctors appointment again, and argue forever with him about changing my medications. He didn't want to last time and I can tell you right now that they aren't working as well as they used to. If there wasn't such a doctor shortage I would have tried to find another one, but alas, they are few and far between. My fibromyalgia is out of control which isn't helping anything but I'm doing what I can.

The good news of today is that I got the laundry washed and folded, will have it put away before bed. I was able to spend some quality time with Brandin before we hardly see each other all week. (He'll be up at 5 am and home after I leave for work, I'll be home after he has gone to bed) I'm hoping to be able to at least make him dinner all week before I leave to make up for it. My way of showing him I love him even if I can't be home, that and leaving him a note each day. Hopefully one day in the future my job won't conflict so much with his, but gosh only knows when that is.

Anyways, enough rambling for one night. Remember your loved and that you are beautiful!

Please stand by...

At this time I am in the process of getting this blog up and running. I prefer the layout on this blog to my old one with that other website. I hope to have everything tweeked by the end of the weekend.