My new years resolution....

So I made a new years resolution that I would lose weight and instead I have put it on. Okay so I've bounced all over the place in the last two months, currently I'm at 224 pounds. I know my depression is causing some of it and being stressed out a lot isn't helping. It's not that I don't know how to lose weight, because I truly do. It's more the fact that I don't want to take the effort to do it; I enjoy eating the junk that I do. I'm being brutally honest here when I say I gave up. I've made many promises to myself to stay on my diet but I never do. So as it goes I am planning to start again tomorrow. Why tomorrow? I don't know. I'm coming off a cold/flu so I'm going to exercise only lightly but if I can quit smoking surely I can stay on a freaking diet! Smart idea is that I am over my PMS so the junk food craving will be a little less.

I work all night shifts this week, which I'm so not looking forward to. I'm happy I have this job when so many people are loosing theirs but at the same moment I really need a less physical job. I do send out the odd resumes when I see one that would be good but so far have heard nothing back from any of them. The only thing I can do is hope this work week passes quickly and that nothing major happens while I'm there. Hopefully by the time I arrive tomorrow they will have the next schedule up. I know I work nights and afternoons next week so am wondering what the week after that will hold. So far I get 24 hours a week, and what few extra hours I can pick up here and there. I would love a full-time desk job, just need to keep emailing my resumes till someone decides to bring me in for an interview and then of course hire me *lol*

Eventually I'll have to go make a doctors appointment again, and argue forever with him about changing my medications. He didn't want to last time and I can tell you right now that they aren't working as well as they used to. If there wasn't such a doctor shortage I would have tried to find another one, but alas, they are few and far between. My fibromyalgia is out of control which isn't helping anything but I'm doing what I can.

The good news of today is that I got the laundry washed and folded, will have it put away before bed. I was able to spend some quality time with Brandin before we hardly see each other all week. (He'll be up at 5 am and home after I leave for work, I'll be home after he has gone to bed) I'm hoping to be able to at least make him dinner all week before I leave to make up for it. My way of showing him I love him even if I can't be home, that and leaving him a note each day. Hopefully one day in the future my job won't conflict so much with his, but gosh only knows when that is.

Anyways, enough rambling for one night. Remember your loved and that you are beautiful!